If you see this while drinking...

If you see this while drinking...

at the New Years party,

you may want to get a cab...home.

New Years Party...Too much drinking

Happy New Year,

Watch out for too much drinking...

You may now kiss the bride...

You may now kiss the bride...

Homeland Security in Canada...

So where does a 500 pound polar bear stay...?

Anywhere he or she pleases....




This is homeland security in Canada...!!!

Cold Duck....

If you were thinking of having a few drinks this weekend for the New Years celkebration....

Now this is what I call Cold Duck.....

Christmas Day

This is an ice house decorated with lights.
This is Not in Florida, HAHA

Would you believe there is a hotel made of ice in one of the scandanivian countries. They make it every winter and it has a wedding theme.

http://www.icehotel.com/english/index2.htm


For an ice wedding:

http://www.icehotel.com/english/index2.htm

I thought that this would be a good theme for Christmas day...

Happy Holidays - Wedding Crashers

Beware of wedding crashers and unwanted wedding guests...!

Well it is the Holiday season that is upon us.

Last year I had a wedding on December 24th or Christmas eve as it is more commonly known.

The Bride and Groom were happy to be able to find a minister on what was fairly short notice.




They were glad to get married on this holiday as most all of their family was off work and was able to attend the "special day" in honor of the wedding day and the marriage.

Holidays are fairly easy to remember for an anniversary and the family is off work and it is easy for the family to gather together for the special event. So that is why some choose this route to get married.

A Florida wedding in the winter is a great vacation and a nice break from the bitter cold of the northern winters....

Just watch out for wedding crashers.....

Chaplain Bob Walker wishes you the best this Holiday season.

More Church Humor

Church Humor:

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

"Pray" is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).

I met the perfect women once... Sadly, she was looking for the perfect man!!!!!!!!

I have "great" news for youThe newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."


Marriage studies findingsA recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"


Gift for a birthdayA fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

Your wedding day should be a joyous occasion.
I have seen too many wedding where the family fights and it is not too happy. I know why alot of bride's and groom's elope to Florida and get married on the beach.

I have seen bride's and grooms get stressed out and can not even repeat vows to each other.

I always match my behavior to the mood of the wedding. If they are very serious and somber, then I act appropriately.

Formal weddings are usually very serious and I act accordingly.


If the couple are light and playful telling jokes, then I am happy to match the mood of the marriage party.

I always try to put the bride and groom at ease in as many ways as possible.

1. I try to be one of the first to arrive as there is no sense in stressing the bride by having her worry if the officiant is going to show up....NO OFFICIANT MEANS NO WEDDING!
2. I try to do a mini rehearsal before the ceremony. I want them to feel confident that we are all on the same page and that they know what they are supposed to do. I also want to make sure that I understand any special requests for a custom ceremony.
3. If they are really nervous, and I think that they will have stage fright, I tell them jokes. The jokes usually make them forget their fears and the ceremony almost always works out just fine. If they are still too stressed, I can just have them say "I DO" instead of repeating vows. This seems to work just fine.

Just some tricks that I have learned through the years.

Chaplain Bob

Waiting for the perfect man....

Waiting for the perfect man

marriage advise to the ladies

Find someone that meets the standards that you feel are important and do not plan on making the man change.

It usually does not happen that way.

Dr. Laura and I agree on much about the way that Bride's and Groom's should treat each other. Fullfill each others needs first, and you shall have fewer problems, instead of focusing on your wants.

So much for today's marriage counseling session.

Thanks for listening,

Chaplain Bob

A guy plans the wedding...

I usually talk to the bride about the planning of the wedding 90% of the time.

This is what happens when the groom plans the wedding and the decorations....

Look at the arch carefully

Those are some large beer cans...!

Just my thoughts...

Bob

Wine at weddings

Wine at Weddings

And there should not be any whine at weddings

I am the wedding minister at a rehearsal and was graciously invited to the dinner afterwards.

Someone close to the groom asked me if I wanted a glass of wine, a beer or something harder to drink, as He was buying for the party.

Just as the groom's friend finished asking me for the drink, the groom introduced me to this friend as the chaplain performing the wedding ceremony.


He apologised to me profusely about offending me with the offer of alcohol.

I told him that I attended a Baptist Seminary and that they are strongly against drinking.

I asked the friend of the groom, who offered me a drink, if he knew what the very first recorded miracle of Jesus was in the Holy Bible.

I could see the look in his eyes as he was thinking...

"Great, I offer the wedding preacher a drink, and now He is asking me a Bible question."

I told the groom's friend that the first recorded miracle of Jesus was when Jesus was at the wedding and

JESUS TURNED THE WATER INTO WINE!

The grooms friend did not feel ashamed that He offered me a drink and He thought that the miracle of the wine was awesome.

Thanks for putting up with my ravings...

Chaplain Robert H. (Bob) Walker B.TH.

Humor - Church

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell?
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
Daddy, what happened to him? the son asked.
He died and went to Heaven, the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
Did God throw him back down?

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor,
When I grow up, I am going to give you some money.
Well, thank you, the pastor replied, but why?
Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had.


Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Why the groom wears black

So why does the groom wear black...?

And we are not talking about Johnny Cash, who was known as the man in black.

The Bridal Party was gathered at the church with many guests in attendance.

The Groom and his best man were dressed in black and were standing with the wedding minister at the alter waiting for the bride to appear.

As the wedding march started, the bride appeared in her beautiful white flowing dress.

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,

"Why is the bride dressed in white?"

The mother answered the girl:

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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Another Beach Wedding in South Florida

This picture was taken on Singer Island by my wife and Her Nikon camera.

There was no threshold to carry the bride across...

So a palm tree will work...!

Congratulations,

Chaplain Bob Walker B.Th.

This couple was married as He was getting ready to ship off overseas in the military....

You may now kiss the bride....

What a beautiful day for a wedding.

Another picture taken by my wife and her nikon...

Stay safe you two,

Bob

Wedding Bouquet

Beautiful Bride and Her beautiful bouquet.
This photo was taken by my wife with her nikon.
They were a nice couple....

Congratulations!

Bob

Ranting and raving...maybe just rants

I remember the time that I did a wedding on the beach with a nice young couple in their early twenty's. They were married on valentines day, so how romantic is that...?

The bride had mentioned to me that her groom to be was somewhat forgetful. They were dressed in clothes that you would expect in a church wedding. He was in a suit and She was in a beautiful flowing white dress. In the wind, the ladies always fight to keep the hair nice and then give up. a few steps on the sand and off come the fancy shoes of the brides...happens everytime!

After the ceremony was over I told the groom that he was married on valentines day and that

HE HAD BETTER NOT EVER FORGET HIS WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!

He started laughing....

I put my finger in his face and I said

" Look you had better not ever forget your anniversary"

He laughed even more.

I said to the groom " If you forget your anniversary - you know your wife will kill you"

He continued laughing.....

I said" you know your wife will kill you and she will get an all woman jury at the murder trial"

"The all woman jury will say that you deserved to die and your wife will get off scott free."

The groom thought that this was Hilarious....

I said " I am not joking" She will kill you, get off scott free and collect your life insurance and find another man"

Hmmm...

some guys just don't get it....

I suppose that He still thinks I was kidding....maybe I should check the obituary section of the papers on valentines day....

Bob

December 12, 2005

Well hurricane Wilma sure changed the beach landscaping in West Palm Beach and the sourrounding area.

Here is the link to my wedding website:

http://www.palmbeachweddings.itgo.com/

If you want to have a beach wedding in Palm Beach county.

More to come...

Palm Beach Weddings of South Florida

Hi,

I am Chaplain Bob Walker and I am an ordained and degreed wedding officiant.
I work in the Palm Beach county area of South Florida and this includes the city of West Palm Beach. For those of you that do not know what an officiant is, allow me to explain.
A wedding officiant is an official that performs weddings ceremony's.
I guess another way to say this is that I am a wedding minister.

I do alot of outside beach weddings for younger couples and I try to be reasonable in my prices.
I have quite a few stories to tell that can be quite humorous and enlightening as to human nature. One day I wish to write a book written from my wedding diaries. From the ring that was almost lost and wedding gaffs, I would like to think that I have almost seen it all. The bride that was about two hours late for her own wedding.

I have done wedding ceremony's on the beach to the five star Breakers Hotel in luxurious Palm Beach. The food and decor are first class and fit for a king or a president.