Church Humor

CHURCH HUMOR

A church had an older man that was in the choir, but he just couldn't sing.
Several people in the church choir hinted to him that he could serve in other places besides the choir, but he continued to come to the choir and sing.
The choir director finally became desperate and went to the pastor to ask the pastor to "encourage" this fellow to quit the choir.

Well the pastor has a meeting with the older man and suggests that "Perhaps you should leave the choir." The older man replies "Why should I get out of the choir?"

The Pastor says "Well, a dozen people have told me you can't sing."

"That's nothing," the old man snorted loudly. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach, but you're still the pastor."

Truth Hurts...

from the mouth's of babes...

Support our Troops - Military Wedding Contest

Palm Beach Weddings with South Florida Photography is gearing up to show our support for our troops in Iraq and / or Afghanistan. We are offering our support for troops with a contest for a free wedding for our military troops.

This wedding contest is open to anyone overseas serving in Iraq or Afghanistan that is in the US Army, Marines, Navy or Air Force at the time of the contest drawing. You need to be able to prove you are in the military and are overseas and are serving honorably in the military services. One lucky contestant will win a wedding package.

This would be great for someone that is a local to the area or who wants a Florida Beach Wedding.

The date for the wedding is open at this time. I will need to work out the details with the bride and groom.

I will assist in planning the wedding that could be a beach wedding or in a more formal location.
I will officiate the wedding and you get free services of a wedding photographer.

This includes up to 2 hours of wedding photography by a professional wedding photographer in West Palm Beach or Ft Lauderdale. This includes a wedding anywhere in Palm Beach or Broward Counties.

I am looking for a Hotel or veteran's group to donate a honeymoon suite and maybe I can get them or an airline to offer airfare for the couple. Maybe someone like Dr. Michael Savage of the Savage Nation show or Dr. Laura of the Dr Laura radio show would like to help me get the word out on this military wedding contest. They always talk about supporting the troops.
This is my way to show my support for the troops. I am ex-Army and I know what military life is all about.

I asked Jet Blue to sponsor the contest with airfare for the lucky couple or just a pair of tickets...reponse below...

More details to come later...see our blogs and bookmark them.
Please NO CALLS

Send a brief note or postcard with your contact information with name, rank, duty station and branch of service to:

South Florida Photography
1120 NW 48th Place
Pompano, Florida
33064
USA

http://SouthFloridaPhotography.Biz/blog

I asked JetBlue Airlines to donate a pair of tickets for the winner of the military wedding contest.

I wanted to be able to present the winner of the military wedding contest to be able to have their destination wedding in sunny South Florida.

I would have loved to see Jet Blue Airlines give a pair of tickets airfare to the military contest winners so they could get here to Florida.

Here is the response to my asking for their support for our troops: Thank you for presenting us with the opportunity to become a supporter of your (wedding) event. We are honored that you thought of JetBlue Airways as a potential sponsor.

Unfortunately, due to the abundant number of worthwhile proposals presented to us, it is difficult to take advantage of every request. We are disappointed that we are unable to sponsor your event at this time.

In other words, we do not care about the troops....?

But they will sponsor a contest for someone to go to a sports team event...

http://www.1460thefan.com/tf.php?story=radiohio/1460thefan/2004newfan/2007-jetblue.php

Thanks for the support of our troops Jet Blue...
A sporting event is far more important than our troops...!!!

We appreciate your interest in JetBlue Airways and wish you great success with your event.

thanks for the form letter...

Sincerely,
East Coast Sponsorship CrewJetBlue Airways

Thank for supporting our troops Jet Blue....NOT

Wife goes to court to shut up husband

Ananova news:

Wife goes to court to stop her husband from telling ghost stories
A Taiwanese woman has taken out an injunction against her husband to stop him from telling her scary ghost stories. Mrs Chen, complained that her husband was giving her horrible nightmares, reports the Apple Daily Taiwan newspaper.

She first filed a complaint with police, then applied for a personal protection order which was approved by a district court in Taichung.

The couple have been married for 20 years and have two daughters. They separated a few years ago but never divorced.

Sounds like a strange way to get back at the wife, if you ask me...

Mr Chen found work away from home, at an orchard, but returned every few months to visit his daughters for a few days. In her complaint, Mrs Chen claimed her estranged husband often returned home in the dead of the night in a drunken stupor. can you say midnight....

Maybe they would not have been seperated if he would stay sober...

He would then go on to tell her ghost stories for at least an hour, despite her repeated pleas for him to stop.
He would tell her stories of seeing 'figures clothed in white floating around in the orchard', of people hanging themselves, and of the discovery of human bones near the orchard.

I wonder if he saw Herman Munster and grandpa?

In his defense, Mr Chen claimed he was only sharing work stories with his wife.But his daughters told the judge their father frequently traumatised their mother with his macabre tales.

hunny, shut up and go to sleep....

Jealous husband brands his bride's buns

Ananova:

Jealous hubby brands his bride's bun
A jealous husband is in very big trouble after branding his initials on his young bride's buttocks on their wedding night.
comments: Marking your territory - priceless or is it tasteless

Police want to question the 54-year-old after he forcibly used a cattle brander on his 22-year-old new wife.

Comment: and maybe soon to be EX-WIFE.....

He reportedly tried to justify the assault by saying he wanted to make sure other men knew she was 'his'.

Comment: but officer - I was just trying to make sure other men understood.....

Police called him in for questioning after his wife contacted a local women's rights organisation.
A police spokesman said: "We want him for questioning. He has some explaining to do."

He has some "splainin" to do, sounds like a marriage not made in heaven....

The Wedding Ring of Elvis is for sale

Elvis Presley's wedding ring is going to be auctioned off and sold in an eBay sale.
The diamond and platinum wedding band from Elvis, the late star's marriage to Priscilla in 1967 is going to be sold off next month, according to The Sun.
The marriage of Elvis and Priscilla Presley was a very significant pop wedding for the 20th century,
There was prince Charles and Lady Di but there was the one and only Elvis Presley, who married Priscilla.
This auction is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own a piece of popular cultural history from a legend...

Did the brides wear white?

I wonder if the bride's were able to wear white?

On December 4th 2006 in Bejing (formerly Peking) there was a story reported in Reuters Life!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061204/od_nm/china_weddings_dc

There is a coal mine in China that is attempting to claim the world's record for the largest number of weddings held at the same time underground in a coal mine.
This may get them a spot in the Guiness book of world records for most weddings held underground at the same time-
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/

Chinese coal mines have made the news many times for the huge number of serious accidents and deaths in the country. When you have about 1.5 billion people I suppose that life is cheap to their communist government. They allegedly have lax safety standards, and with fatalities that occur on an almost daily basis, they need something to take people's minds off of this subject of safety.

The Datong Coal Group located in the Shanxi province held weddings for 10 miners on Saturday 300 meters or 1,000 ft under the ground in a shaft as reported by, the People's Daily on Monday.

Reuters reports "The weddings were unprecedented nationwide, even worldwide," mine manager Liu Suisheng told the newspaper. "We're going to apply to Guinness World Records."
China reportedly by far has the world's deadliest coal mining industry. It is reported that safety regulations are ignored or bypassed and that coal production is pushed beyond safety limits in a mad rush for profit for the state. The coal mine weddings aim to "lessen the depressing impression" of the mining industry, Liu told the People's Daily newspaper.

One of the ten brides that was married ia quoted as saying "Marrying the man I love in his workplace is really meaningful to me," and another is quoted as saying "I had been considering a unique wedding, but never thought of down a mineshaft."

I am so pleased to live in America - it is not perfect, but it is certainly better than many of the alternatives. Chaplain Bob says Thank you Lord.