Lawyers - Courtroom antics

Bloopers based on Actual Court Room Transcripts and Trial Records.

Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first
marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?
*
Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
*
What is your name?
Ernestine McDowell.
And what is your marital status?
Fair.
*
Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

*The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

*I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.That's me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?*

So you were gone until you returned?*

She had three children, right? Yes. How many were boys? None. Were there girls?

*You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

*You say that the stairs went down to the basement?Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?*

Were you alone or by yourself.
*
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
*
Have you lived in this town all your life?Not yet.
*
Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel?It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
*
How long have you been a French Canadian?
*
Are you married?
No, I'm divorced.
And what did your husband do
before you divorced him?
A lot of things I didn't know about.
*
And who is this person you are speaking of?
My ex-widow said it.
*
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

no wonder our legal system is the way that it is...